It never ceases to amaze me how important these events can be. I look forward to them every time, and the kick in the ass they can be is totally worth it for the incredible and intense rejuvenation they offer. Time with friends, the evolution of relationships, the creation of new ones, all serve to help remind us what is actually important. In these times, these events become ever more essential to helping us remember that we are a part of something greater, that the community we belong to is alive and thriving, and there are brothers, sisters, and others that are out there to help and support us.
I was asked quite a few times on this trip why the hell I drove up to DC all the way from Florida. Sure, I could have flown, but I had reasons. Yeah, the one I mentioned more often than any other was because I was able to spend some time with a new but dear friend, (getting to spend that time was very special to me, and I’ll go into that more later) but the reason I didn’t mention all that often was that driving initially afforded me the opportunity to visit my uncle. A few weeks ago he collapsed and was rushed to the hospital with congestive heart failure. No one expected him to survive the night, but he did. This wonderful and incredible man held on for almost two weeks, giving him an opportunity to say goodbye to his brothers and his sister (my mother), as well as his wife and children.
But he did not survive long enough for me to see him. He died just days before I drove through, and I missed my window of opportunity.
At first, I was struck deeply by grief, full of recriminations about how I should have just gone, to hell with scheduling. But then, it settled upon me that it is not given unto us to know the hour of our passing, nor the passing of anyone else. If the universe had deemed it right for me to see him before he moved on, then I would have had the chance. So, it fell to me to contemplate and reflect upon what he had left me with, the legacy of love without reservation, the wisdom and strength of a man that literally gave everything he had to those he loved. He worked ceaselessly for those he loved, he cared for them, he watched over them, and he did what he could to help guide them and nurture them, regardless of whether or not he agreed with who and what they were. Of all my family, he was the only one that ever supported me, even when he neither believed in nor supported the choices I’ve made in my life. A staunch conservative and devout Christian, he and I stood on polar opposites of the socio-political spectrum, and yet he never once let that get in the way of his love for me.
So, it is with this memory at the forefront, that I sat out on this journey to DC, and a weekend of bacchanalia and depravity. A weekend I needed for so very many reasons.
Thursday
The drive up was long and grueling, but not anything I’m not used to. I love driving, and distance driving gives me a great chance to just reflect on life, as well as spend some time catching up on some good audiobooks. So, it was off to North Carolina with Robin Hobb playing through my speakers. Did I say “good” audiobooks? Well, so far the Farseer series hasn’t lived up to that particular adjective.
But, I digress. I arrived at my destination, and it was to a pleasant night of good conversation, rope, and surprisingly good cuddles. The details, I am afraid, must be left to your imagination and to my memory, but suffice it to say it was excellent company and one that I will cherish closely in the months to come.
Friday
Waking up, we got on the road. There were plans, but they were discarded for the expediency of the long road trip ahead. We filled the hours with conversation about our past, about D/s, about kink in general. The miles flew by as we did, and I grew to enjoy this friend even more than I thought was possible. It is not often that you meet an appropriately kindred spirit, and it was surprisingly refreshing to spend the morning with such a charming creature.
We got into DC and into the hotel. After a brief snafu with the hotel itself (which was very capably handled by an overly-stressed unicorn), I was IN and ready for my WF. There were some excellent greetings from some old friends, quiet moments amidst tearful reunion hugs and kisses, laughter and smiles. It was absolutely lovely to be reminded that though we are separated by miles and time zones, we are still family. I wish that I was closer, but I am desperately grateful to be able to share space with them when I can. Dinner with a friend, and I was excited to see us grow even closer. Damn, it was good to chat with you, thank you for introducing me to the Goat.
Then, the first “official” scene of my WF experience. I hadn’t expected to be given the chance to experience this person, and I was intensely flattered by their interest. I admit, I am not often nervous or anxious before scenes anymore, but I certainly was leading up to this. But hot DAMN it was a good scene. Fun rope, some tussling, and frustration over a timely moved hitatchi. It was fantastic and great fun. It was wonderful to get to explore a new person, to see them in an element that I hadn’t had a chance to before, and it was really really good. I will take what I have learned into my next scene with you, friend. Ware!
But, no matter how excellent that scene was, it was no match for getting to hold my beloved @scuddle again. Kept late by a new job and the appropriate celebrations, she did not arrive until late. Once she did, it was a moment of intense joy to be able to share space with her again. It aches so much whenever we are parted, but it is as nothing to the incandescent joy at reunion.
And I shall speak no further of my Friday.
Saturday
0945 comes damnably early. I am lucky in that I am one of those goddamn assholes that just wakes up fully conscious. I don’t need coffee or any other kind of caffeine to get me going, and when I have to teach early, I am immeasurably grateful for that. Give me a chance to smoke a cigarette and a few minutes to align my thoughts, and it’s time to hit the ground running.
I do not often get to teach outside of the wheelhouse of rope bondage and other forms of play, so when I get to share on the more philosophical side of kink, I am as giddy as a schoolboy to do so. *Slave Training 101* was a far more intense class at WF than it usually is. I had a pretty full class, and it was a fantastic way to start off my teaching experience for the weekend. We delved deep into the profound changes that come with exploring both sides of the M/s dynamic. We shared experiences, discussed programs for both in-person and distance training, and ended on the Butler Book. There were some fantastic questions, some equally good suggestions, and all in all, I think it was a fairly successful class. Thank you to everyone that attended and shared your input.
Lunch! @scuddle and I attended the Lunch With Presenters thing in the lobby, and we got to spend some time with a few really excellent humans. It was lovely!
Partials. So, this class was a fucking blast. We really didn’t know what to expect going into it, but it turned out wonderfully. We got to share a particularly challenging partial and discussed the process of taking care with each step, with each piece building off the one prior, each one making the partial more and more difficult. Sometimes it’s good to take the time and really let your partner sink into the experience before leveling up to the next.
We moved on from that into chaos rope, and it was really awesome to get to share with you what is essentially my most favorite kind of play. You guys took the idea and ran with it, turning it into a hands on exercise that was an absolute treat to get to observe. It’s always really awesome to get to see my attendees really getting into the material, and I could tell that a fair number of you guys really had a good time. Makes me feel like I’m doing my job right.
Also, a big thank you for my favorite Sadist showing up. Goddamnit, man. You really are the sadist I want to be when I grow up.
Then, anxiety. SOOOOOOOO, the plan that @scuddle and I originally had for the Wild Things show was simply not working out as planned. The positions were only partially working, and the transitions were just not smooth enough to make a good performance. A good scene, maybe, but they were just too hard on both of us to be able to make them flow in a way that would both work with the music we had selected, or to showcase the kinds of rope we both love and have fun with. STRESSSSSSSSSSSSS
But, the time came, and @scuddle helped me to center and prepare. A big deep breath, and FUCKING YEAH. She made me look far better than I am, and her ability to sell a fucking tough as balls transition sequence was just awesome to be able to share with you. My second takeaway from that performance? I talk ALL THE TIME about how important tension is to good rope bondage, and that performance should show all of you that with good tension, you can make some fucking MAGIC.
There was more from the night, but once again, this is all I shall say about Saturday.
Sunday
I love the frantic pace that comes with Sundays. GET EVERYTHING DONE! DO ALL THE PEOPLE! GET ALL THOSE LAST SCENES IN! Everyone is running around with barely contained excitement, and the exhaustion of the last few days really begins to show in absolutely lovely ways. Bruises are really starting to show in lovely shades of blue and purple, tired eyes are aflame with the intensity of the last few things, and the expectation of scenes where one doesn’t have to hold back to be able to survive even more days of play and fun.
The energy on Sunday was high and intense. It was a great day to share on the Sacred and to walk with the Divine. A lot happened on this day that I’d really like to keep as a lovely memory, but it was really really good. Photo shoots, OH WOW bootblacking, impromptu lessons, and an unforeseen scene with a really wonderful human. Cuddles, tears, and finally sleep.
Monday
Saying goodbye is always always hard. I miss everyone immediately, and the promises of seeing each other again soon is always really wonderful, even if it is agony. But this day I got a chance to spend taking a break. I reunited with my driving companion, and we were invited to spend the day at friend’s house, then RopeLab. I needed that day like I cannot tell you.
@scuddle you remind me what it means to be alive. You were the only light I could see when all else had faded into the darkness within my own mind, and for that I cannot ever truly thank you enough. Spending time with you this weekend reminded me of all that was, and gave me a glimpse into what can be. You give me the strength I needed to break through, and for that I will be forever grateful. I love you with everything I can.
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All things said, this was one of the best events I’ve ever been given the pleasure of attending. Thank you to all the staff at Dark Odyssey for having me, and for trusting me with a few slots to share with your attendees a little bit of my journey. Your faith in me means the world, and I am grateful. Thank you.
To my play partners, your trust is always deeply humbling and immeasurably wonderful. Why you would choose to play with a broken old asshole like me will always be beyond my understanding, but dear gods, am I grateful. Thank you.
To my students and class attendees, I always appreciate the chance to share something, however small, with you. Getting the chance to see how I have had the chance to impact your life is my reason for doing what I do. I really am here only because of you, and for that I am grateful. Thank you.
To my friends and companions that continue to provide incredible amounts of love and support, I could not do this without you. Your strength and patience is also intensely humbling, and having you in my life is a joy that I can never repay. You all bring light to my darkness, and for that I am grateful. Thank you.
Dark Odyssey, it truly was a journey, once again. I cannot wait for the next chapter, and if Winter Fire was any indicator, it’s gonna be one wild fucking ride.
